Scatterlings of Africa

I have noticed this thing about pale Saffas of a certain age, no matter which country they are in throughout the world.

If they are at a braai, a wedding, whatever, they always play Mandoza’s Nkalakatha. Come on, you know what I am talking about, that song from way back in 2000. Now I am sure people of other-hued persuasions are saying Whaat? That song is soo last Century. They would be right (think about it).

But we seem to schmaak it still. And when we play it, we automatically break out into a puzzling motion that can only be described as: Squish la cucaracha. As you know, la cucaracha never dies at first stomp (especially not those Durban muthas), and so must be squished a-gain and a-gain. One foot only. I am not sure this could be termed a dance as such, but whiteys can’t dance anyway, so don‘t laugh. I know. I have done it myself.

Speaking of the strange habits of the lesser spotted Saffa, there is a trend amongst pale Saffas that the further you get from SA shores, the more you suddenly start to appreciate the genius that is Johnny Clegg.

I noticed this when I first came to the UK. At that time I don’t think I had ever listened to Johnny Clegg in my life. His music was just there, in the zeitgeist. At first I thought it was pretty weird and uncool, all these expats rocking out to some old eighties music with guys doing the can-can. Then I started to enjoy it. Now I totally LOVE Johnny Clegg. Those husky Zulu voices give me goosies. And yes there is a dance that goes with this music too, think impis, think HUGE stomp on la cucaracha.

What freaks we are. Anyone got their old Mango Groove CDs, so I can dance, dance, dance, dance, some more?

(what are the strange but true customs of other types of Saffas out there? Expat or not, I want to know!)

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