Seamonkey journalism

I always fancied being a writer. At school my best subjects were English and Biology. Common sense told me that it would be easier to find work as a Biologist than as some humanities graduate. Common sense can be overrated.

In my last year of school I even did a day’s tour of a magazine (Garden and Home to be precise) to see what it would be like to be a journalist. Well, although I love writing, I really feel that I am not cut out to be a journalist. I don’t have much experience with subject matter that audiences like to read:

politics: wrong degree. I am interested, but have selective knowledge.

home and garden: no garden, no house. Live in rented bachelor flat with one room. I know this: patterned wallpaper is the home decorating devil.

music: I am stuck in a 90’s timewarp with no intention of finding a way out.

movies: I could do this, the only problem is I am of the opinion that if you don’t have to read the dialogue on the screen, it is not a good movie. Everyone else I know thinks the direct opposite.

cosmetics: I don’t wear makeup much, because I have no idea how to put it on. 

sport: ooh love it, but not enough to write about gameplays and the finer points of offside rules. Gymnastics journalism might do the trick.

food: I can happily eat buttered toast for every meal for years. 

fashion: I have left the house with my trousers on the wrong way round. Yes it is possible. I am probably the fashion anti-christ. I hate shopping. I look at stuff, and if it looks like it might fit, I buy it. I am always wrong.

economics/finance: There is no subject that I know less about. It’s to do with banks and munny and dangerous animals right? Someone tried to explain futures to me; something about hypothetical corn, and possible prices and the buying and selling thereof. I have one thing to say. SORRYWHAT? You economists must have been smoking some good shit when you came up with that stuff.


Kay enough. My ideal job would be to edit and write this blog. It is so easy. I have yet to run out of ideas for content. I mean, it is essentially my own magazine for me. And it doesn’t matter if no one wants to read it. Awesome. 

SEND MONEY NOW. 

(donations of coffee and chocolate digestives will also be accepted)

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