What's your novel idea?

Listen people I want to write a book.

I am not cut out to be a Nobel-prize winning scientist, that is for certain. And ever since I was small I thought it would be awesome to write a novel. I must add that this is because I loved to read. I did not do much writing when I was small. Or now. Why do readers think they can write?

I don’t want to write a bestseller, what I want is one of those books that everybody says is brilliant but nobody reads, one that will win loads of literary awards but make me no money whatsoever. One of those books that is boring and unintelligible but is somehow good nevertheless. I will die poor but famous and that is fine with me. Kids will study me at school and curse me forever more. Awesome.

Anyway. I know how to write. I know WORDS. I know vaguely how to use them. But I have a mind as blank as a very blank mind. I got no ideas. 

So dear internet, please help me. Give me your best book ideas in the comments section and I will apply WORDS to them and we can be tortured artists together. If I use your idea I will be sure to dedicate the front page to you. I would say I will give you money but my book won’t make any so that would be a lie. I will send you fresh brownies. They may not be fresh when they arrive. Life’s a bitch sometimes. 

Post your brilliant ideas below. Help a girl realise her dream of being a one hit starving literary wonder. Please?
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30 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tamara
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 15:51:00

    You could write about those rocks, seeing they seem to turn you on.

    Reply

  2. po
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 16:34:00

    Hmm, yes but will others think it is brilliant? Are YOU interested in rocks? I guess a talented writer can make rocks interesting.

    Reply

  3. Being Brazen
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 17:03:00

    Oh thats my dream too….totally.SO i cant give you ideas – i neeed them all for myself.;)

    Reply

  4. po
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 17:21:00

    Ah, BB, but there is no I in team. Two heads are better than one.After all the cliches I just wrote I think I am doomed.

    Reply

  5. Ches
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 17:27:00

    PO….write a book on ‘How to Survive as a Sea Monkey’

    Reply

  6. po
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 17:45:00

    Ches I am liking that one. It’s a tough life out there as fish food and pets for small children.

    Reply

  7. Ches
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 18:03:00

    And worrying you could get flushed down the toilet while you’re sleeping…

    Reply

  8. po
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 18:15:00

    Waah! I never thought of that! Now I have severe seamonkey anxiety about being flushed away.

    Reply

  9. Being Brazen
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 18:38:00

    Heehee -Possible book titles:The tragic life of the flushed sea monkey by PoOr – Surviving the flush – by Po:)

    Reply

  10. Miss T
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 18:49:00

    You can do a “history of my blog and short collection of posts”Then you can copy and past e most it :)

    Reply

  11. 6000
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 19:32:00

    Lumps of driftwood, washed ashore on a Rhode Island beach suddenly come to life and eat local puppies.And… it’s all yours from there.

    Reply

  12. po
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 20:38:00

    BB: Surviving the flush! That is brilliant! You see, with your ideas and my flushing experiences we shall go far.Miss T: But I want to write a novel. But truth is stranger than fiction!

    Reply

  13. po
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 20:39:00

    6000: You are the winner! That is the one for me. Brownies are on the way. And a piece of driftwood…

    Reply

  14. The Divine Miss M
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 21:11:00

    Write an erotic novel.

    Reply

  15. po
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 21:13:00

    Miss M: would love to be able to but I am not sure I have the imagination for it. I think kitty cat would do well at that!

    Reply

  16. Rox
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 22:23:00

    Don’t forget the dassies, and their tassies and klippies! All I know how to write is horror, and I’ve been working on mine for a while now – but I’m aiming more for instant bestseller / huge riches type of thing. Starving writer no more!

    Reply

  17. po
    Oct 02, 2008 @ 22:25:00

    Hmm, driftwood on Rhode island, eating puppies. Along comes a shipful of dassies with their klippiesto save the day? The plot is developing…Wow, horror, that sounds intriguing.

    Reply

  18. Rox
    Oct 03, 2008 @ 03:33:00

    Not half as interesting as yours is turning out to be, haha. My horror is about a hotel, and a baddy slash anti-hero who loses the plot and goes on a rampage. I’m on chapter 4 and no-one has died yet, so reckon I need to get some action in soon.

    Reply

  19. po
    Oct 03, 2008 @ 03:38:00

    Is the anti hero a dassie? Just kidding, it is so cool that you are actually writing a book, it really is my dream to do it one day.

    Reply

  20. Moe Wanchuk
    Oct 03, 2008 @ 04:01:00

    How about the life of a Man….who still wishes he was in college…who shaves his head…who works out incessantly, yet never looks any better…and blogs with a bunch of ladies?…and call it..The Life of MoeYou could make it genius like, yet it be totally uninteresting.

    Reply

  21. po
    Oct 03, 2008 @ 04:39:00

    Moe, this is excellent material, but in order to make it genius yet totally uninteresting I have to ask, are you a genius? I know you happen to be very interesting, so we shall have to lie about that, but the genius part?

    Reply

  22. Kitty Cat
    Oct 03, 2008 @ 14:41:00

    Oh,I love this post, ‘cos I think like so many bloggers, I too want to write that damn bestseller…except I want mine to be read by millions the world over!

    Reply

  23. po
    Oct 03, 2008 @ 18:01:00

    kitty cat, you can do it, your talent shines through in your blog!

    Reply

  24. Kitty Cat
    Oct 03, 2008 @ 19:11:00

    Aw shucks, you’re too kind Po, but thanks so much, you have no idea how much I treasure compliments like that. I store them up and think of them when I need a lift!The same goes for your writing, hell,I don’t see why you don’t pursue your poetry.

    Reply

  25. po
    Oct 03, 2008 @ 19:37:00

    Thanks kitty cat, we shall see :)

    Reply

  26. The Blonde Blogshell
    Oct 03, 2008 @ 21:57:00

    I’m writing a novel at the moment. I literally sat down at my laptop and started writing!! I have a spider chart and an idea of characters and building them! Good Luck…what would you like to write about? What genre would you like to write in?

    Reply

  27. po
    Oct 03, 2008 @ 22:03:00

    Blondie really?! So many people out there seem to be actually doing it! I think I must get off my butt and get into action.

    Reply

  28. Anonymous
    Oct 06, 2008 @ 01:26:00

    Hey B! there’s so much rubbish that you could write about…come on, you have it all around you…you have met and spend (and still you do) so much time with crazy-weird-loco people (beside your self of course) that you can write thounds of memoirs and manuals of how to deal (or just how to leave us alone) with society-emotional cripples and other rejected defected non-members of what people define as “normal” (we are all weirds-different-special anyway-whatever you wanna call it-;it just the majority prefers to lie about it in order to be accepted bewteen the other liars). Some titles ideas: “The memoirs of a llama-lover”…”Me, myself and Paul”, “My left “shaky-rubbish-lefty-son of the devil” left hand”, “Un-safety manual for un-safety handling of hazardous chemicals and crazy-chinchileans dictators in a lunatic asylum/microbiology lab”, etc etc etc.

    Reply

  29. po
    Oct 06, 2008 @ 02:08:00

    Aaaah! It’s the Chinchilla! My favourite Chilean person (the only one I know too, how strange).I like “me, myself and paul”, and the llama one. But are these subjects really the type to make me a tortured artist? They sound more like bestsellers to me.As for chilean dictators, there is a lot of material there, I may just go for that one.

    Reply

  30. ladyfi
    Oct 07, 2008 @ 22:20:00

    You could write about a cute South American llama-loving little person with paranoia and one bad eye.

    Reply

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