Card anxiety


I have it. It happens to me every year.

You see it is my birthday tomorrow. And of course at my place of work, as it is in all places of work I have been at, whenever it is someone’s birthday, there is usually a Card circulating the place, being secretly signed by everyone.


At my work there is a lovely lady who remembers everybody’s birthday (I have no idea how she finds them out) and organises the card and the signing. She pays for all the cards herself. She is like the birthday angel.

Of course there is a chance that nobody will know it is my birthday, because I am new and I don’t exactly go around announcing the fact. Now in itself, I could not give a rats ass whether I get a card or not. Actually I hate cards. They seem like a huge waste of time to me. Less money wasted on cards means more money available for presents! I never bother buying people cards any more. And I really don’t care if they know it is my birthday or not.


Of course I will be bringing cake -you HAVE to bring cake, it’s in the rules- so they will know in the end.

And there is the problem. It they don’t get me a card, and then I bring cake, they will feel all bad and guilty that they didn’t get me a card, and say sorry and make a big fuss, and then I will have to tell them that I really don’t mind, and I really DON’T, but of course they will think I am just saying that and that I am really upset, and there will be more fuss and by the end of it I will be so confused that I will probably end up feeling upset anyway, because I didn’t get a card and I don’t care, but they think I care and oh blimey I will end up caring out of confusion.

Of course, I could not bring cake and they would be none the wiser, but then what if they do get me card and I don’t have cake…. the horror.

Social interactions are so damn complicated. Who writes the rules to these bloody things?

Down with cards. Down. A pox on cards and their associated anxiety.


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21 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. DelBoy
    Aug 10, 2009 @ 12:50:13

    I think cards are a waste too! It was my wedding anniversary on Saturday and guess what – no card! ;-)

    Reply

  2. Champagne Heathen
    Aug 10, 2009 @ 12:56:37

    You're as bad as my boyfriend with the way your mind works! Simplify all this… you like cake? Yes! So ANY EXCUSE to eat cake trumps any excuse to worry about random colleagues feeling bad. Plus, cake makes EVERYONE feel happy, even if only for a heavenly minute. Take the cake! Fck the card. And some champagne. Cause that makes everyone LOVE you cause then they can claim they are too boozed to work & can go home. And have a damn good birthday!! :)

    Reply

  3. SA Expats
    Aug 10, 2009 @ 13:46:46

    Lol! Well good luck with that. Hope you have a good bday tomorrow. :)

    Reply

  4. Gillian
    Aug 10, 2009 @ 14:12:36

    Firstly HAPPY BIRTHDAY for tomorrow. Secondly, its YOUR birthday – they should bring YOU cake!!! Screw the card…

    Reply

  5. LadyFi
    Aug 10, 2009 @ 14:56:05

    I never give cards either.jBring cake – and forget the rest… Who cares if they don't know if it's your birthday. Enjoy the cake, I say! ;-)Oh – and HAPPY BIRTHDAY for tomorrow…

    Reply

  6. po
    Aug 10, 2009 @ 15:52:17

    Thanks for your well wishes guys! Don't worry, this card anxiety is a bit tongue in cheek, but it is there in low grade amounts :)Whatever happens, there will be cake. That is for sure.

    Reply

  7. Paula
    Aug 10, 2009 @ 18:12:22

    Well firstly Happy Day before your Birthday and then (read after Brackets only tomorrow. IE go to the next paragraph until tomorrow when you can finish reading this one) HAPPY BIRTHDAY.Secondly bring the cake in a non-see through- and hopefully not to obvoius holder thang; go in early, hide it in the desk or fridge or wherever you prefer. If you do get a card you can whip out the cake. if not- Eat away!

    Reply

  8. Paula
    Aug 10, 2009 @ 18:15:22

    my logic is not logical. Just bring the cake; its a nice conversation starter that it is your brithday and yes it will be blush-worthy but if you let on early in the day you'll have a card on your desk by the end of the day.Maybe even a secret admirer. wahahaha.I like cards- gives me something to read after I've wrecked the gift, eaten the cake and re-used the gift wrapping. Its the one thing that if written on can never be reused.

    Reply

  9. Goblin
    Aug 11, 2009 @ 12:14:51

    Well buggrit, I'm sorry, but I've decided to celebrate your birthday ;) You can moan at me later.Have a fantastic day Po-meister!

    Reply

  10. BecauseIcan
    Aug 11, 2009 @ 12:33:21

    HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BDAY!!!!I didn't get you a card cos well, you cant eat them or regift them either now can you??!But don't be surprised if Hunky Naked dudes come and pick you and have their wicked wicked way with you… Oh and whatever happens dont mention puppies, i cant tell you why..*tickle-tickle-lick*B

    Reply

  11. SheBee
    Aug 11, 2009 @ 12:35:06

    Happy Birthday darling!Thank god for Facebook or I wouldn't have known to send you a (virtual) card either. Smooches!Xoxox

    Reply

  12. DT
    Aug 11, 2009 @ 13:31:25

    Happy Birthday lovely Po! I hope you get many marvellous gifts, eat lots of cake and crack open a bottle of bubbles!! Bless your office birthday angel! (I have to admit I love cards – I love the accumulation of signatures and ink! ) wishing you lots and lots of happiness x

    Reply

  13. 6000
    Aug 11, 2009 @ 14:19:08

    Happy Birthday, Po.I have solved your dilemma by emailing a link to this post to all your colleagues. They know to get you a card, you know to get them cake.And now they will be able to read back and know a whole lot more besides. It's all good. Have a great day. 6k.x

    Reply

  14. po
    Aug 11, 2009 @ 15:19:37

    Thank you guys, you are all great! Thanks for all the messages6000: OMGEEE I am gonna assume you are kidding, cos the rest is just too much to even contemplate. Will just put it down to your acerbic wit.

    Reply

  15. sleepyjane
    Aug 11, 2009 @ 16:26:26

    Happy birthday Po!! xxxSo…did they get you a card?

    Reply

  16. po
    Aug 11, 2009 @ 16:28:31

    sleepyjane: I did! I am impressed, because the birthday angel lady is away on holiday, but they still remembered. I have no idea how they even knew.

    Reply

  17. Helen
    Aug 11, 2009 @ 17:21:29

    I'm in time! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I'm glad you got a card! It means you're part of the family and so on… I hope the didn't make you work too hard as a result?

    Reply

  18. redsaid
    Aug 12, 2009 @ 01:38:53

    Synonym for the word "card" is "care"… NOT. (But I'm glad you got one anyway!)I agree with you, by the way. Store-bought cards are SUPER expensive in South Africa (as you well know), so I'd much rather spend the extra 30 bucks (Yes, for real) on the gift itself. I end up making cards that look like childish creations – and then I totally lie and give my six year old nephew the credit when the people look bewildered. And then they think it's cute. When I lived in the States, I painstakingly made everyone Zulu Love Letter cards (with beads, safety pins, etc.) Since you liked the Love Letter necklace I made, I'm wondering if you'd like a Zulu Love Letter card? Happy birthday, dahling Po! (You totally need to send me your address again though… because you did a year ago and I *cringe with shame* lost it!! SORRY!)

    Reply

  19. po
    Aug 12, 2009 @ 01:52:07

    Hellooo miss redsaid! I have to admit I would LOVE a Zulu love letter card. I love that kind of thing, but store bought cards not so much. R30! good grief. I remember paying about R10. Sigh. The good old days. I must be getting old!Thanks for the message!

    Reply

  20. po
    Aug 12, 2009 @ 04:23:19

    Helen: hmm, actually my plan was to have a laid back day but the boss kept the work coming non-stop. Maybe my birthday reminded him I am around, cos mostly I keep a low profile and do what I want!

    Reply

  21. Dora
    Aug 14, 2009 @ 05:00:38

    Holy cow. Looks like this "secret" card thing and bring your own birthday cakes thing at the workplace is pretty much universal! Never thought of it!

    Reply

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