Insane in the membrane

As I have said many times before, I am no scientist. Which is a bit tricky considering I am… a scientist. But not a real one, I am half a scientist, a pretend one.

Often at work I feel like a 5 year old trying to have an adult conversation with the grownups. For some reason they seem to humour me, and accept me like this. I’m not so sure I can accept me like this, not forever anyway.

I have two major theories as to the difference between me and real scientists. Any additional postulations are welcome.


The first can be thought of as THE QUANTITY theory:



Pretty self-explanatory I feel, but this theory does not agree with my ego, so I am leaning towards this one-



The Structural theory:


exhibit A: Inside the Scientist’s brain


As you can see, there is a central idea thread there, with further ideas feeding off that one and interlinking and subdividing. But no matter how branched the idea becomes, there is still that anchor that pulls it all back to the central idea, like a miraculous tree of life.



exhibit B: Inside my brain


The definition of scatterbrained, yes? Apart from the large focus point on FOOD, there are fizzles and sparks and moments of inspiration and insight. But nothing is connecting. I feel that my brain is like a giant dot-to-dot, and if only I could join them up, it would all make sense.

However – and this sums me up in one short sentence –



I have lost my pen.



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24 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. The Grid
    Oct 01, 2009 @ 12:59:09

    Haha that made me laugh. Awesome visualisations. Food hijacks too many of my thoughts too.

    Reply

  2. LadyFi
    Oct 01, 2009 @ 15:19:27

    Hysterical! Since you are a seamonkey it's is only right that your brain is unique!

    Reply

  3. Ches
    Oct 01, 2009 @ 18:29:59

    HA HA. Classic!

    Reply

  4. Helen
    Oct 01, 2009 @ 19:12:42

    If I give you a pen will you help me find my keys?

    Reply

  5. Miss Caught Up
    Oct 01, 2009 @ 22:41:32

    LOL That was awesome! So long as you haven't lost any of your "dots" then I think you're okay!

    Reply

  6. po
    Oct 02, 2009 @ 01:23:26

    the gid: it seems the only time I can actually focus is when I am hungry!ladyfi: do you think a seamonkey could become a scientist?Ches: so what does your brain look like?Helen: unfortunately if I did find your keys I would probably lose them in seconds. And I will lose your pen too, so I hope it is not an all important "knowledge pen".miss caught up: eep! Good point, I hope I am not less dotty than before :)

    Reply

  7. Dora
    Oct 02, 2009 @ 02:06:46

    Holy crap. That explains my brain too! All I ever talk about at work is food……and I also have no or little ability to connect ideas together….but I know where my pen is!

    Reply

  8. EEbEE
    Oct 02, 2009 @ 03:17:09

    I think you are giving scientists too much credit. I always get the impression that a good scientist is one that appears as if he/she knows more than he/she actually knows.Smug ba$t@rd$!

    Reply

  9. Damaria Senne
    Oct 02, 2009 @ 17:29:55

    This is so funny. Thanks.I needed it. And i like how your brain works.

    Reply

  10. candy
    Oct 03, 2009 @ 02:21:41

    Pretty damn brilliant, you half scientist, you :) Love your wit! So much!

    Reply

  11. Paula
    Oct 04, 2009 @ 13:30:54

    lol. Reminds me of a designers brain and my own… except my biggest dot I think is socialising, fashion and food…. because its a literal toss up

    Reply

  12. SonnyVsDan
    Oct 05, 2009 @ 09:48:06

    absolutely brilliant Po – I wish I could see more descriptions of people that succinct!

    Reply

  13. quartercenturycrisis
    Oct 05, 2009 @ 12:20:59

    Wait a minute, I thought the question was who moved my cheese? Do I have to worry about my pen moving as well?!

    Reply

  14. Goblin
    Oct 05, 2009 @ 13:00:10

    That brain diagram is wretchedly wrong. Although the food thing is probably right on. I'm sure you know that best. And now I'm thinking of food and shall go and find breakfast.

    Reply

  15. SA Expats
    Oct 05, 2009 @ 14:42:51

    Lol!

    Reply

  16. nemesis
    Oct 05, 2009 @ 15:58:40

    I love the sketches that go with your piece. They had me laughing.

    Reply

  17. sarah
    Oct 06, 2009 @ 12:00:18

    hee hee i love this post. we are like minded… he he he pun. yes! japan loves crazy flavours and such, but BUT not if the flavours are super gross! i like the strange kitkats cos they taste nice! this pepsi nonsense is awwwfulwant me to post you some?

    Reply

  18. She
    Oct 06, 2009 @ 14:02:04

    This is hilarious. I can definitely identify with your last diagram. With the main focus point being how to get through my quarter life crisis intact.

    Reply

  19. lettice
    Oct 06, 2009 @ 16:14:48

    You had me in giggles!(Also don't give yourself enough credit!)

    Reply

  20. Tamara
    Oct 06, 2009 @ 16:35:33

    Wahahahahaha… I love you, Polonium.best post I've read in ages.

    Reply

  21. angel
    Oct 07, 2009 @ 18:04:54

    Mwaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa

    Reply

  22. 6000
    Oct 08, 2009 @ 17:33:38

    That brain thing is exactly right. Lots of love,A Scientist.x

    Reply

  23. po
    Oct 08, 2009 @ 18:26:04

    6000: which theory though? Size or tree of life?

    Reply

  24. DelBoy
    Oct 09, 2009 @ 10:25:27

    I must say, I know exactly how you feel! As a newbie to the Education Industry (from Hospitality), I feel like your brain picture. People start talking in edu-talk and acronyms and I'm lost!Now, where's my muesli bar…

    Reply

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