I've never voted Tory before, but then I've never voted.

Voting time is coming soon!   The UK is gearing up for its election. Obviously politics is important, but I can’t say I get too involved in British politics. Possibly because I’m not British and I can’t actually vote.

Democracy seems to be highly overrated to me. We supposedly have all this choice, but really we have no choice at all. If I had to choose, neither Labour nor the Conservatives offer what I want in a party. But one or the other of them is going to win anyway. I suppose there is a teeny weeny bit more choice than in South Africa say, where the question keeping everyone on their toes was whether the ANC would win by a two thirds majority….  or  merely win.

Last year word on the street (or in a small dusty lab somewhere in Oxford) was that the Tories would win without doubt, but apparently now things are a bit more uncertain.

I think the Tories will win, because people need a change round here. I think the Tories and Labour have become much of a muchness but obviously after a while people start blaming everything on the current regime including their bad hair day.  And fair enough, Labour was at the helm during the recent financial stuff up, which even I could see coming a mile away.

But Britain hates old Gordy for being too… everything. For existing really. He’s just a dust bunny being hoovered up by the fact that everyone is just dead bored and needs a new government.

The Tories, being the funky-cool hipsters that they are, have brought out a poster campaign. And these posters crack me up every time I see them. They are hysterical. I’m not even sure I could explain why. Maybe you have to live here. They just define Britishness in every way.

And I’m not the only ones who find them funny, there are loads of spoof posters doing the rounds on the internet. You should check them out.

Here is one I find particularly amusing. The original, not the spoof:

Ok you can see what they were thinking here. Get a common or garden working man of the people, someone we can relate to.  And have him say (my interpretation)

“well, I know it used to be shameful to admit to voting Tory, but if I, cool person Charlie, vote for them, then they must be alright. Anyway, look at how the other guys stuffed everything up. You don’t have any bloody choice really, so vote for the lesser crapness.”

There seems to be no hint of how they plan to sort out the economy but that’s besides the point. What kills me is the “I’ve never voted Tory before but…” part.

I mean compare the above to Obama’s campaign posters:

The man is not afraid to do distant-eye look, all majestic and heroic, and offer up a single proud word that appeals to a person’s loftier ideals. Obama is projecting greatness. The Tories are projecting “Um, we may be a bit unfashionable but we’re better than those guys.”

I think this speaks volumes about the psyches of the respective countries.

Then of course there are the South African election posters:

Good ole Zuma and his scary grin. I kind of like that in this poster he is not appealing to anything (or anyone?), no lofty ideals or common man. He is who he is, completely unairbrushed (compare with David Cameron)

and we gotta take him as he comes, shiny head, ten million children and all. He is in a way, an oxymoron:  an honestly dishonest politician.

Election campaigns. Hilarious.

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12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cam
    Mar 12, 2010 @ 09:01:35

    Does this mean Gordon Brown could be gone? FOREVER?

    WHOOP WHOOP!

    Reply

  2. Tamara
    Mar 12, 2010 @ 11:25:30

    Wahahaha… Those spoof posters are FUNNY!

    Reply

  3. Po
    Mar 12, 2010 @ 11:50:53

    Cam: well if the predictions are correct. But to me David Cameron looks like a young Gordy anyway. In fact they all look the same. I think they clone the people worthy of being politicians and just swap them round.

    Tamara: I know! Frik I was laughing. I loved the “some of my best friends are poor” “And I’ve never voted Tory before because I’m 7 and I love the power rangers” bwahaha. Have to love British humour.

    Reply

  4. Lady Fi
    Mar 12, 2010 @ 14:32:42

    Oh, that poster is hilarious… that guy looks so uncool – kind of nerdy!

    Reply

  5. Dora
    Mar 12, 2010 @ 20:39:13

    That “I’ve never vote Tory before poster” – I have to look at it every morning and night as it’s smack bang right in the midst of my route to work.

    I wish they could bring out something like that Zuma poster….at least it’s hilarious!

    Reply

  6. Kirsty
    Mar 13, 2010 @ 23:13:43

    I saw these posters for the first time when I was in London last week, and they made me pretty mad… and amused at the same time! I hate David Cameron in all his smug conservative glory – but you’re right, Gordon Brown and his half-heartedly “liberal” Labour are hardly better. Sigh.

    Reply

  7. sonnyvsdan
    Mar 15, 2010 @ 10:49:54

    Pollies will do anything won’t they?

    At our last election, the guy that won simply said “Kevin ’07”

    It was all publicity to make him more personable. “Please, call me Kevin”.

    If I were running I’d just say “please vote for me, I’m not as bad as the other guy*”

    *actually, I am, politically we are diametrically opposed, but in actuality, our policies would really be the same as each other, we just that we could do it better when really we can’t.

    Reply

  8. MidniteGem
    Mar 16, 2010 @ 18:44:13

    Hey Po – how come you cant vote? If you work here and pay taxes and have a local address then you can vote! Even if you are just on a work permit (my bf is on one and still votes)

    Reply

  9. Po
    Mar 16, 2010 @ 21:03:05

    Midnite gem: wha? Are you serious? As far as I knew you could only vote in the local elections, not the national ones? Can I really vote? Bizarre but possibly cool. Except I haven’t registered.

    Seriously though, how can they let people who aren’t citizens vote? That just seems wrong in so many ways. Poor Brits, I wouldn’t want a bunch of non-citizens voting.

    Reply

  10. Po
    Mar 16, 2010 @ 21:06:57

    Hey I just checked and citizens of Commonwealth countries can vote! How mental. I still can’t believe it but I’m gonna go register.

    Who the crap would I vote for?

    Reply

  11. Angel
    Mar 19, 2010 @ 12:23:56

    And our politicos remain proud of their unpolished dishonesty.

    Reply

  12. Trackback: Creation: Death by uninspired political posters -

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