Scheme a little dream

Do you ever have moments, quite randomly, like gas, where you totally freak out and think OMG life is so hard and I’m afraid and small and it will always be this way there is no way out aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggh!!!!

Please don’t tell me I’m the only one? I get them all the time and I blame the encroaching 30th birthday for their increasing frequency. Blegh blegh, even saying “30th birthday” makes me want to hurl.

But unusually for me, in between these moments of sheer horror are some really happy ones, because all of a sudden I have some wishes, some hopes, dare I even say… dreams.

I think of dreams as something that only super vulnerable amazing positive and daring people have. I’m not sure I ever had any after the age of about 14. I always preferred to protect myself from inevitable disappointment and failure by keeping my horizons low. Like super low. But for some reason now I went and found some dreams, and when I’m feeling tired or miserable, I like to bring them out and parade them around in my mind to make me smile.

I have a dream of living in Cape Town. And if that is not enough I also have a dream of owning a house there. And AND buying a kayak and going kayaking on the sea.  Good grief talk about wild fancy :) And if it doesn’t happen, well, I’ll live. There could be worse things.

I also have other secret dreams that are too fragile to say out loud so I will keep them to myself. Mine. But they sure as hell do cheer me up when I’m feeling desperate or down or afraid. So even if they don’t work out they have some merit.

Also I want a dragon. I saw How to train your dragon on the weekend, and I want one. They’re rad with big cute green eyes. And they like grass. You have to go see it.

I think turning 30 is doing something weird to me. I’m regressing back to some hopeful childlike state. Is this a sign of a midlife crisis?

So what do you think about to cheer you up when life seems bleak?


9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cam
    Mar 31, 2010 @ 09:34:56

    Your the only one, Po…good luck! :D


  2. Tara
    Mar 31, 2010 @ 10:04:16

    No you are not the only one…not by a long shot! In those situations I tend to call upon the Great Cocktail Goddess of High Street and down a Southern Wheeler (it has 3 types of rum in it…nuff said) and then go home for a bath. Water restrictions be damned.
    As for cheering up…well, it depends. Snuggles are good. As is chocolate. Or sleeping in. Or doing something that makes me happy (See paragraph 1).
    I think it’s all part of *gulp* g-g-growing up. Argh!!

    (Can u imagine how I felt when I file my first tax return…?!)


  3. Tamara
    Mar 31, 2010 @ 10:56:10

    Yes, I have lots of those moments. So logn as there’s happy bits in between, I reckon we’ll be fine. Although I do agree that we’d be better if we each had a pet dragon.

    So want to see that movie this weekend!


  4. Paula
    Mar 31, 2010 @ 11:34:31

    Apparently there is such a thing as a quarter life crisis hey.
    I found something magical on YouTube you HAVE TO watch and listen to. Like the way they are is just WAY TOO awesome. I am so so so so so so in crush. Again. Thnx to Chad. But like I am into trumpets etc of late.


  5. Louisa
    Mar 31, 2010 @ 14:32:19

    It doesn’t go away after 30 by the way. ;-) I find a very serious bubble bath always makes my day look better.


  6. Kirsty
    Mar 31, 2010 @ 17:45:52

    “I have a dream of living in Cape Town. And if that is not enough I also have a dream of owning a house there.”

    If I’m not living in Simonstown and commuting to my job (Professorship… obv) at UCT by the time I’m 40, I’m going to go there and swim about until I’m eaten by a shark. Or pecked to death by penguins. Either way, I’m going to kill myself.


  7. Po
    Mar 31, 2010 @ 21:35:39

    Cam: nooooo I don’t believe you.
    Tara: hmm, I like the sound of that Southern Wheeler. Must try it.
    Tamara: If I had a pet dragon, I would get him to toast marshmallows for me. I dont really even like marshmallows, but I reckon dragon-toasted ones taste better somehow.
    Paula: damn I doucln’t watch your video! I was censored! I think I’m in the wrong country. What was it?
    Louisa: yup, bubble bahs are fantastic. I have this awesome toffee fudge bath scrub too, it smells so amazing I decided to taste it one time, but it tasted like soap.
    Kirsty: whoah, no shark food please,I will see you there then!


  8. Lady Fi
    Apr 01, 2010 @ 05:59:46

    Hold on to those dreams, for life is a sorry thing without them!


  9. Tamara
    Apr 01, 2010 @ 10:23:31

    I’d make creme brulee and let him torch the caramel top at least once a week. Also useful for lighting fires, I imagine. And getting the neighbour’s evil rat dog to shut up. Flaming chihuahua… sounds like a shooter.


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