Um. Did we forget anything when we left the house today?


I am no fashion fundi. I am the opposite, call me a fashion pariah. But even I notice that every year there are one or two trademark items that define the trend for the year. Last year purple made a comeback, and I was happy because I love purple. Also last year we had the “Jesus sandals” in the summer, better known by BFG and me as the “bondage sandals.” I was not a huge fan of those.

This year has brought out a trend in the UK that I love so much I could cry. Actually I often do cry when I see it, and BFG is reduced to fits of hysteria.

What it is, is girls wearing leggings or tights, but with no skirt or shorts; and a top. Not a long top that covers the butt, but a short top that ends at the hips. Sometimes the leggings are quite thick and that’s mostly okay. Sometimes they are just opaque tights, and that’s not so okay. Sometimes they are see through tights and that is seriously NOT OKAY!

I have learned through this trend that very few women have attractive behinds. Even slim girls have lumpy looking asses with cellulite and weird shapes, and you know what? They move a LOT when they walk. Butts are all over the place man, and most of the time it is not a pleasant sight. And sometimes, when they wear the see through tights and I have to walk the entire way to work behind someone wearing a black g-string and I can see its every movement, along with the movement of everything else the tights contain, well I feel a little uncomfortable.

To translate, it’s disgusting. Call me a prude, I don’t care, but unless your butt is good looking, you are not doing yourself any favours here.

The BFG giggles like a school boy whenever he sees one of these fashion travesties because he’s convinced that they just forgot to put their skirt on. He wants to point it out to them, in case they didn’t realise.

It may be gross, but we should never look down on things that are so fucking funny, because laughter is precious in this world. So, you bare bottomed girls, you go for it, g-strings and all. Just let me walk in front of you please?

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18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. tiah
    Apr 26, 2010 @ 09:39:16

    I demonstrated a jump stop to ten 6 year old girls. Apparently my bum kept moving long after the rest of me did. Ah, the merriment. Could. Not. Regain. Control. Of. Class.

    Needless to say, I shall be avoiding the legging trend.

    Reply

  2. Champagne Heathen
    Apr 26, 2010 @ 09:49:19

    Oi. Not sure I can say much more than that.
    I can barely wear headbands without feeling like a fool. Let alone tucking my jeans into my boots. So I do not seeing me following this trend. But I do see my boyfriend also thoroughly enjoying it!

    Reply

  3. Kirsty
    Apr 26, 2010 @ 12:56:18

    I love that now your Google ads are for sheer support tights!

    Reply

  4. Louisa
    Apr 26, 2010 @ 17:36:20

    Hahaha! Isn’t it a bit chilly there to be letting it all hang out?

    Reply

  5. Shannon
    Apr 26, 2010 @ 22:34:07

    It’s like you are LIVING IN MY HEAD. Being on a college campus, I see this trend all the time. My friends have to keep me from flagging down the poor misguided undergraduates and saying “Sweetie, tights are not pants. You left your clothes at home.”

    In the 80s, when leggings hit big the first time (and I also adhere to the rule that if you were around for a trend the first time, even if you were 7 years old, you should not partake of it the second time), it was with either a miniskirt over them or a really long shirt (sometimes pulled off to the side and tied, cuz we were cool like that). Now they’ve left off the mitigating factors in this fashion trend and it’s basically people walking around in their underwear.

    Also, I feel like some of these girls don’t have good friends. A few months ago I had a brief bout of idiocy in which I thought perhaps I could wear leggings since everyone else was, and my friend said “No. You know how we look at people and say ‘why didn’t their friend tell them they look crazy?’ Well, no one is going to be able to accuse me of being a bad friend. You look crazy, and I’m telling you.” No doubt it saved me untold public humiliation. People need better friends.

    Reply

  6. Po
    Apr 26, 2010 @ 22:38:16

    Hahahahaha people I wish it were a “leggings trend” but most of the people I have seen have been wearing stockings, you know, like winter stockings, or tights. Even opaque stockings are kind of seethrough you know? AAAAARGH! The ones who wear leggings are a RELIEF I tell you.

    Reply

  7. Po
    Apr 26, 2010 @ 22:49:49

    P.S Shannon, could you paste me the link to your blog. I know it’s on my old blog somewhere but I can’t find it!

    Reply

  8. Lady Fi
    Apr 28, 2010 @ 04:49:31

    You’ve hit the nail on the head… the same trend is over here and I keep having to bite my tongue to stop myself from asking if they have forgotten to put their trousers on! It’s not flattering.

    Reply

  9. Helen
    Apr 28, 2010 @ 09:33:56

    Wow, that’s… interesting! I’m kind of relieved that it’s too flipping cold here for people to be wearing anything like that.

    It also amazes me that people will wear those things and then leave the house. Have they no sense of public decency?

    Reply

  10. Helen
    Apr 28, 2010 @ 10:50:14

    Cancel that, they’re walking around on campus today *shudder*

    Reply

  11. Po
    Apr 28, 2010 @ 13:24:53

    OMG it’s spread all over the world like a virus, noooooooooooooo!

    Reply

  12. Paula
    Apr 28, 2010 @ 14:16:31

    There’s this guy at school who screams “my eyes! My eyes!” so we generally check our outfits before we lave the house. It’s abysmal actually.

    Reply

  13. Damaria Senne
    Apr 30, 2010 @ 10:07:29

    Oh, I’m so with you on that one! My least favourite fashion statement though, remains the trend to wear low-hanging pants with a G-string panty and T-shirt. And everytime the person bends over, I can see their knickers. grrrrrrr!

    Reply

  14. sonnyvsdan
    May 01, 2010 @ 15:31:39

    we’ve had that trend for about 18 months…surely that’s long enough for it to die a sad miserable death?

    brill post po!

    Reply

  15. Shannon
    May 02, 2010 @ 17:03:56

    Po, it’s capetowntocambridge.blogspot.com.

    @Helen: I actually first noticed this trend in South Africa last year! I said to myself, Self, why do South African girls think leggings are an adequate substitute for pants? They are not.

    Then it came to America. (Or maybe I just started noticing it.) Sigh. Globalization is a bitch.

    Reply

  16. Tamara
    May 04, 2010 @ 08:33:19

    The butts I can kind of deal with. But the camel toe I cannot.

    Reply

  17. Spear The Almighty
    May 04, 2010 @ 12:27:02

    If a girl has the body, I appreciate it if she shows it of. Unfortunately there are many girls that THINK they have the body but they don’t, yet they try and show it of. That is nasty and I want to claw my eyes out.

    Reply

  18. sleepyjane
    May 04, 2010 @ 13:12:11

    LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. They’re just not.

    Reply

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