You can stand under my vu vu zela ela ela

Good grief, the only topic of conversation at work this week has been the mighty vuvuzela. Which is amusing enough, without the added amusement of hearing everyone struggling to pronounce it. Voo voo zaila seems to be the closest approximation. I would mock them, but I discovered that the BFG, who is bona fide born South African, was calling them bougainzelas, kind of like the bougainvilla flower. Well, he was never good at names.

Love it or hate it, that bloody horn is making itself a word for the English dictionary.

Ok the next part of my post will probably contain lots of swearing so I apologise in advance.

I am not a happy chappie this week. All I want to do is watch the football, however I am being thwarted. My driving test is tomorrow. AAAAAARGH!

I have my final driving lesson during the start of the SA: Uruguay game. Bleak. Due to a ridiculous set of circumstances, mostly involving both me and iTV being idiots, I missed the beginning of the opening game. I am one of those saps who lives to see the national anthem. I was so excited for it, could hardly contain myself during Mexico’s anthem, was getting all emotional and then WHAM the feed died and I couldn’t connect for half an hour. So bleak. And now I will miss the national anthem for this game too.

So, my much postponed test – take one. Unfortunately I have been hit by the worst PMS ever. Firstly I am in a terrible mood, which driving only aggravates. Secondly PMS destroys my coordination and my ability to think at all, which is not useful for driving.

At work the past few days I have been like a goldfish. This is me:

me: where the fuck am I?
me: dunno
me: who the fuck am I?
me: have no idea. Shit someone is trying to speak to me.
me: who the fuck are they?
me: oh yes, the boss. Focus.
me: on what?
me: have no idea.
me: oh the boss, the boss.
me: sorry could you say that again?
boss: wa wa wa vu vu ze la
me: he said some kind of something.
me: sorry could you say that again?

What more can I say? This test will be a DISASTER! I hope I and other road users live through it.

I have some Rescue Remedy but I don’t think it will do anything for me. I’m thinking of just downing the whole bottle and my bottles of “Focus” and “Confidence” juice, because they are dissolved in brandy. That’ll calm me down.

Do they do breathalyser tests before driving exams?


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. tiah
    Jun 16, 2010 @ 08:03:56

    Oh heavens, I tried to learn to UK drive while pregnant. Did you have an RSA license? My husband did and all he had to do was send it in and ta da! new British license. They don’t do that for Americans… an experience I lived through, but argh! I confess, I had to take the blasted test twice. First time…we shall not speak of the first time. Second time…the man had an “allergy” to the city and took me out of town on traffic-free roads and he smiled as he saw the sheep grazing in the fields. Best of luck!


  2. tiah
    Jun 16, 2010 @ 08:05:07

    Oh, no breathalyser. But they do a basic eye test.


  3. Champagne Heathen
    Jun 16, 2010 @ 08:33:47

    If it makes you feel any better, I am meant to be enjoying that deepest of sleeping hours when the anthem is played – 4am!

    Although, that would mean you are doing your test at about 7.30pm? Is that right? I might miss the start of the game out of plain stupidity & getting my times mixed up!

    GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!! Forget the brandy, don the short skirt & low-cut top!


  4. Po
    Jun 16, 2010 @ 08:52:42

    tiah: no, no RSA licence, I avoided driving for as long as I could! I hate it so much! But good grief, learning while pregnant, what a nightmare!

    Champs: haha no my last driving lesson is when the game starts, my test is tomorrow morning. I thought about cancelling my lesson, but believe me, I need it!


  5. Paula
    Jun 18, 2010 @ 16:08:40

    How did you do? I should hope they don’t do breathalyzers or I’ll fail. :P
    Now I’m singing Umbrella with Vuvuzela..thanks.


  6. cybersass
    Jun 20, 2010 @ 09:29:55

    oh dear. hope the test went well.


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