The moon and me.

Just a quick (well, I’ll try) summary of the long weekend:

  • We went to the sea! The Dorset coast to be precise.
  • The weather was amazing (mostly).
  • I went batshit insane. And not in a good way. It lasted from Thursday through to Saturday.
  • Full moon+ mercury retrograde + hormonal imbalance = difficulties. You know when you can no longer cope in a situation you freak out and lash out? I couldn’t cope with tying  a shoelace. I nearly burst into tears at the prospect of going for a tiny stroll along the coastal path.
  • I couldn’t focuse on anything happening in the world. I was in the clouds. Time slowed down for me. I couldn’t control my body. I couldn’t make it do what I wanted. I moved like a snail because I couldn’t make my limbs go any faster.
  • My brain felt like it was very far away, controlling my body like a puppet, only it was watching TV and not paying any attention to what was happening to me.
  • Remembering the above, BFG took me climbing. I though I was going to die. At one point I felt like I was outside of my body and honestly didn’t know how to move my body in order to go where I needed to go. I cannot describe how awful it was.
  • I retired to a grassy bank and lay in the sun for the rest of the afternoon while the BFG self-belayed himself up climbing routes. Thank goodness he is so self-sufficient.
  • the madness lifted on Sunday and I was able to deal with walks. Lots of walks. And icecream. And kayaking.  Even some climbing. Much relief.
  • We had a fire! Our first campfire in the UK, after 7 years. It doesn’t seem to be as common here as in SA, where it is just another way of breathing. The campsites here are often insanely crowded so it could be dangerous to have fires. But at this campsite a guy drove round selling wood (he was South African… that explains everything) and every tent had a little fire going. We were all so happy. I think a fire speaks to our primal sense of comfort.  I didn’t realise how much I  missed them.
  • I had a great weekend but I have to say I scared even myself. I don’t like feeling that way. It is just awful. I like to have control over my body and my mind. I didn’t have much control over either on Saturday. I did get into this intense introspective state, which was interesting, but on the whole, I prefer sanity.
  • I bame the moon. Lunacy is an apt word.

7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Louisa
    Sep 01, 2010 @ 08:56:39

    Well, if you can’t have the sun at least you can have some bloody fire!

    I’m glad you’re feeling better.


  2. tiah
    Sep 01, 2010 @ 10:57:31

    I’m glad you got your fire. Those times are not fun. One knows that life should be this tearful / stressful – but – yikes. And lack of understanding…mountain climbing. Yeah, I like it too – but only in the right mood.

    My husband stuffed me into strange holes in a cave this weekend. I had a very good weekend, but like you, not in a good hormonal place. Cave was low point. Your BFG and my husband should get together. They could do all those things they love when we don’t want to play.


  3. dash
    Sep 01, 2010 @ 12:22:09

    that sounds horrible! REALLY horrible. Did you do anything special to bring the sanity back?


  4. Helen
    Sep 01, 2010 @ 16:11:28

    oh wow, that sounds scary. I thought crying on a shoulder for most of Saturday was bad, but at least I was really… there for it.

    I hope you stay feeling better, maybe you needed a fire to chase some of those gremlins away?


  5. Po
    Sep 01, 2010 @ 16:58:10

    Louisa: too right! Although this weekend we had lots of glorious sun too.
    Tiah: argh I sympathise. Shame, it’s not the BFG’s fault, we always go climbing, he was trying to ber nice taking me to the sea, I did keep warning him how much I was struggling, but usually I love climbing. You just don’t know til you are doing the thing that you don’t actually know to which part of the body your head is attached. But if only I was more self aware I would have said no in the first place. But probably I did feel guilty that he had come all that way and wouldn’t get to climb. Luckily he could climb on his own!
    Dash: just waited and slept lots. Being brainless is so uncool. They have done studies on madness during full moon, it’s real I tell you!.
    Helen: ja I am back to my usual brainless self now, onl averagely guppy like as opposed to space cadet. Sorry to hear you are crying on someone’s shoulder. What happened? I can’t even cry unless I have fire smoke in my eyes, so maybe the fire was good in more ways than one?! I think it is a little sun that we all sit around worshipping.


  6. Paula
    Sep 01, 2010 @ 17:39:08

    eeeeeek are you okay? The moon does have an effect… but woah that sounds horrible. I’m sorry.


  7. Po
    Sep 01, 2010 @ 22:34:54

    Paula: eeeeeeeeek no I am fine. Absomolutely. Just beware the full moon I tell you! There are more than werewolves out there to be scared of.


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