I got Royal ants in my pants.

I have always had a very chilled attitude towards the British Royalty. I mean, it is a daft concept in this day and age, but it seems to make the Brits (the Royalist ones) happy and patriotic, and it brings in tourism, so let them have their Royalty.

I have been hearing discussions about the Royals and their existence and whether it is justified long before THE WEDDING, and they are still going on now. And suddenly last week I became a militant anti-Royalist, and I fear there is no going back!

It is very fashionable and almost socially acceptable to be really nasty about Britain and the British, because once they were the oppressive colonialists and the leaders of the world, and now they are not. But there are some really good things about this place.

People here, on the whole, are equal. Class is far less important than it was. Women are treated fairly, in my opinion. There is excellent maternity leave, and work opportunities for women. I am talking in the general sense, because I do know first hand that in Science women are discriminated against, but that is not a UK thing, that is a world thing.

People are allowed to practice their religion of choice. The Brits still insist that this is a Christian country. It is such an alien concept for me, to actually declare your country one or other religion in this day and age, but if you want to be Muslim or Sikh or Hindu, you can practice away. Obviously there is anti-Islam sentiment, but on the whole people can get on and do what they wish. And be British at the same time. You do hear mumblings about “when in Rome” but if you go to Dubai you do not see white British expats attending mosque and wearing burqas, so let’s not take that whinge too far.

For me the biggest good thing about Britain is the lack of racism. Yes, of course there is racism, but it is on a whole other level of insignificance in comparison to what I experienced in South Africa. Even those people who do exhibit racism (I have only encountered this in the over-60s) are not vicious or hateful, just suspicious and wary.

However, mixed race couples abound, and when I talk about South Africa and try and explain how racially polarised it is, people look a bit freaked out. If you live in London, you are surrounded by every nationality in the world. Worrying about where people come from and the colour of their skin is rendered meaningless.

I have wondered about adopting a South African child in the past, and I do feel that if I adopted a black child it would be better for it to grow up in the UK, in terms of freedom from discrimination. Sad as that makes me feel.

Gay people are tolerated. I’m not saying loved and universally accepted but they are allowed civil unions and there are a few in Parliament.

So while Britain has loads of problems like anywhere, on the whole, people can get on with life and not be discriminated against.  And they should be proud of their country for that.

Which is why the Royal Family is so ridiculous, because in the name of Tradition, people will excuse any kind of small-minded prejudice that the Royals care to practice. It is blatant double standards.

If Kate pops out a girl child first and then a boy, as the law still stands (they are hoping to appeal this, but it still stands) , the boy child will be King. Seriously. In 2011 this is acceptable.

An heir to the throne is forbidden to marry a Catholic. Blatant discrimination. All in the name of the Church of England, which was created so that a dodgy King could divorce his wife?

As I pointed out to my British colleague, there is no law forbidding an heir to the throne from marrying a Muslim. Haha. She said, don’t worry about that, they know their duty. They would never do that because they must fulfill their duties.

OOOKKK then. There are many Muslim people in this country. They are British. Some of them are a few generations British. Anyway, Prince William’s grandfather Prince Phillip is not even British by birth, so I think we don’t need to go back generations to refute that argument.

If they cannot marry a Royal, then are they not British? What about a black person? What if William was gay? I am sure he would know his duty, and lie and marry a woman of course. Lucky lady she would be.

The whole idea of inherited power is ridiculous. Just because someone’s dad is an amazing surgeon, does not mean their child will be. What if that child has the chronic shakes and vomits when he sees blood, would you still want him to train and be your doctor?

I know Kate Middleton is a Commoner (she has miners in her bloodline. Sies) but this is as far as things can go. So while the UK strives to be a tolerant, open place, the Royalty is allowed to practice whichever prejudices it chooses, and therebye encourages ridiculous and outdated ideas.

Because the Royalty is Traditional, it has in fact crystallised and preserved all of the old ways, the old and ugly prejudices that are unnacceptable to the rest of  society. But is doesn’t just hide them in a cupboard, it flaunts them in front of everybody with pride. And that to me, is something Brits should be ashamed of. They are better than that. They really are.

So if there was ever a referendum on whether to keep the Royalty, unless they changed a lot of things, you know how I would be voting. Luckily for the Royalists, after this year’s voting system referendum disaster, it is unlikely they will be having one in any form for quite a while.