stuff and things.

It appears I have not blogged for nearly two months. That there is pretty shameful. But I really don’t seem to have anything to say. I feel hollow in terms of words.  I haven’t written any kind of creative words for months.

I don’t think it even has anything to do with being REJECTED by Rhodes (twice. They sent me two rejection letters, in case I did not get the message the first time). I’m just on a mega creative low. I hope at some point I will find some words again.

Until then, stuff has been happening. Or it is about to imminently happen. Got British passport, and suddenly it seems we are leaving and I only have three months in which to use the thing to good effect. I have spent years being rejected for Schengen visas and spending hundreds of pounds taking days off work to travel to London to get the visas and now I do not need to do any of that. Ever again.

The only problem is we plan to move back to South Africa, and when I lived there, my family could not even afford to leave Durban, never mind travel in Europe. We went to the Berg twice. That’s something I guess.

So I am going mad with travel plans, checking Ryanair website daily for cheap deals, scheming and dreaming and using up all my money (I did get a hefty tax rebate recently, which Ryanair will be recieving shortly). We have been to Amsterdam, heading to Berlin, then Italy for two weeks. Anyone recommend something I HAVE to see in Europe before I exit the place?

Then I spend every day dreading when I have to announce that I am leaving. We are saying goodbye to two special people this week, and another in April. The thought of leaving makes me sick. I just got way too attached to the people here. The funny thing is, I bet none of them would ever think I was as attached as I am. I’m so quiet and shy and stuff, but I get these strong emotional attachments to people. This year is going to be so hard. I feel sad thinking I will miss them and they won’t miss me. I feel sad thinking they might miss me. I just feel sad.

In theory I will be telling my boss in just over a week. Unless we stay an extra month to sort stuff out. Don’t even get me started on all the stuff we should be organising for moving.

Also the BFG and I want to do a big trip when we leave work, go somewhere maybe for a few months. I have no freaking clue where that would be. I have friends cycling through Mexico and South America, and others on a kind of extended trip around the world (I think they are in their second year). I am not so ambitious, but I do want to do something cool before I make a concerted effort to rejoin the rat race in a new (but old) country.

So yeah, stuff is happening. Too much stuff. I just want to curl up in a ball and hibernate through all of it. But I can do it. Big girl panties earned and worn with pride.

How about your stuffs?


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Helen
    Feb 22, 2012 @ 08:40:18

    yay you’re alive! I was beginning to worry…
    And awesome that you’ll be coming back to South Africa. And have a uk passport.
    I’m thesising like crazy and therefore not blogging either. It may kill me, or I may finish it. We will see which one of us makes it out alive.


  2. tiah
    Feb 22, 2012 @ 15:43:37

    Enjoy the UK passport!


  3. seamonkeypo
    Feb 23, 2012 @ 12:42:40

    Helen, argh good luck, your predicament is far more stressful than mine. As I understand writing a Phd, if it doesn’t kill you, displaces a few marbles.

    Tiah: thanks! Do you have any Europe travel highlights I should try?


  4. Ilse
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 16:50:57

    Visit Iceland in April and see the Northern Lights – we saw them in autumn. Check the weather first as they don’t appear if there is a wind. It is mind-blowing. The 1000-year-old parchments recording Islandic sagas are also great! And China is a good idea as well as one should see it before everything old is destroyed or rebuilt


  5. seamonkeypo
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 17:02:43

    Um, I think you have sold me on Iceland! I want to visit china too, but my sister lives there sporadically and would love to go when she is there.


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