The art of the struggle.

I went for an interview last week, and suddenly it hit me – work. Yuck! I don’t want that!

All this time I have been struggling with unemployment, the guilt, the anxiety over not knowing what is in my future, feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem, surely no one would hire me, I can’t do anything…

Now that I am entering the interview fray, I’m like, hang on, I want to lie around all day in my pajamas reading a book or surfing the net and doing some very half-hearted cleaning now and then. I want to be a bum!

I struggled with not working, I know I will struggle with working. The human condition is to struggle with everything, or at least that seems to be my condition.

Suddenly I really don’t want to work. Interestingly my interviewer told me how stressful and demanding the job I was applying for was. Hmmmm, sounds great. I am not sure that I am cut out for stressful and demanding. In fact I am sure I am not. But it would be nuts to not take a job and not know if I could do it or not. Argh. Also there are not many jobs around.

I am very aware that I may not get this job and may have to attend many more interviews and yuck again! Interviews suck!

Lying in bed sounds so much better.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Helen
    Oct 29, 2012 @ 08:38:07

    I remember that feeling. The desperation to find a job, and then the panic that I only had 3 days of sleeping-late left but then if I slept late I’d be wasting my free time… good luck with the interviews, I hope you find somewhere you will be happy.


  2. Prixie (@prixi3)
    Oct 29, 2012 @ 08:44:34

    Haha! Never were truer words written! Returning from London three years ago, it took me 6 months to find a job. And now its been 3 years of full time work already – no time for gap years. LOL I am sure you will be fine though…


  3. poseamonkey
    Oct 29, 2012 @ 09:00:19

    I think I plan to spend the next few days completely bumming around until I find out about this job- then I guess it is back to the application grindstone!


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